Friday, December 12, 2008

hey im sick!!

i thought i was fallin ill,
and i was,

incredibly ill im!!
and the pain blooms in my abdomen..
and it burns, n grows like a big banyan tree..
and it burns from it roots to the leaves..

i just feel like to cut it!! cut it from the bottom
the root goes until the edge of my vagina..
and it start bleedin there...

hey sweety..
it says take a pain killer and sleep tight..
oh !!

kill my pain!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

come back..

yea we said its different now.. but,

i never wanted this to fade away..

i never wanted you to go beyond that..

come back.. though we left us..

come back and hug me, my love

come back...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

im happy!

im happy

its all about happiness...
my chocolate melts...mmm.. yummy..
im happy...

i love this..
its a rainbow..


i didnt know that i cant go back..

i wish: can i go back where i was?
u say: u can never my dear..
i wish: y? i want to go back to the same time n space..
u say: u cant, coz it doesnt exist anymore..
i wish: ah.. if i go back..?
u say: ull be in a different time and space.. thats all

i wish: its painful...
u say: it is...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

c`est la vie..


i dont know its life..
i can see that i have started feeling comfort to be alone..
as i was always..

hmm.. last week was strange...
ahhh.. yea im alone..
and i love it..
i love my life..

kani signed inn..

Thursday, September 4, 2008



i wanted to cry...

cry loud,

loud...more loud..

more n more...

i miss everything!!

i want to delete this past!!

from recycle bin!!

shut down n restart..

boot again.....

hey u just told prove y i exist!!

i think its impossible for me..

cry loud!

laugh loud!!

hey i smell like "surf excel"

what fun!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

i dont like to take bath..

i found that i really dont like to take bath...
hmm.. even if its hot.. n im dirty...
stinking... anything goes...
i wont take bath... unless i feel..
hmm... today n was too hot..
n i was walking running here and there...
n too much dirt in me... still no bath...

but u know something...
right now just now..i took a bath...!
i cant believe myself!! huh!!

scared of me!

it seems people are scared of me..

i was thinking...

yea im full of love.. so i can hurt..

as anyone can hurt anyone else..

But i still think y can't u take me as what im..

i cant stop expressing...!!

if u r hurt or if u r scared

yea..may be..

i have to also take it that way..

yea ill...

ill try it that way my freind..

but i wish if you could see me as what it is..

and not be scared...

i told you no...

i turned to see things in different ways too..

tahts my growing..

my learning..

its moving.....

head over heels...

unseen words...
its about a girl who always stayed there on that conrener of the road.....
near coffee day.....
and herself thinking that.. they will turn back once and will see her...
and she is seen!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


we are in love..

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

പച്ച മഴ നീല മഴ

എനിക്ക് സങ്കടം വരുന്നു..

രാവിലെ കൊറേ സങ്കടം
കൊറേ പുട്ടും പഴവും കിട്ടി ...അപ്പൊ പച്ച മഴ
പിന്നെ നീല മഴ..

എനിക്ക് ഒറ്റക്കാവുമ്പോ സങ്കടം പിന്നേം വരുന്നു ...
ഒറ്റക്കല്ലാത്തപ്പോഴും സങ്കടം വരുന്നു....

വരുന്നതു പോവുമായിരിക്കും...
പച്ച ലോല്ലി പോപ്പ് മുട്ടായി കഴിക്കാന്‍ തോന്നുന്നു

Thursday, June 19, 2008

live n leave....

i never knew that this would happen to me..

i was nowhere in the sea...
couldnt know where i was....
i lost all my directions...
mmm..., i knew that i was drowning...
i may die without knowing what was that!!!!

If i ask you to come back as soon as possible...
does it make sense??!!!
Im melting into this magnetic field where i've loaded with
illogical memories!

if i ask u to give me ur and n hold me
does it make any sense to u???!!!!
im scared, more n more scary scenes passing by...
the stillness and silence like an a gloomy sunday...
can swallow me..i know..

never knew that this would happen to me..

it was a nursery rhyme which i was trying to remember!
its painful!

i thought i can forget..
n i still remember,

i thought i can never forget...,
and it just vanished!
what fun!!!

live n leave...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008



1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9............
it goes on.....

Sunday, May 25, 2008

ah!! its 12.22 pm

its terrible!

She feels terribly disappointed that im such a selfish n careless friend! i know she is in pain
both mentally and physically!
and look at me,sitting in this arm chair so kool relaxed and incredibly irresponsible!
there i goes!
hey stop it my kani!
my parasite!

now its too much!

yea true...i know...
i wonder y i live...!!??
y i even smile cry or whatever!
i've seen none other than me being "selfish" like this way!

HELLO friends...
if you can please dont help me to stand,breathe or live to exist such a pathetic way!
let me die..die on the spot!

just have to kil me!

people in my life..butterflies who used to dance with me..
o how beautiful you all are!
they loved me, listened to me always...
and what i did...i was hurting them all through my life... till now!
i should be killed!
its pathetic!

ah a rainbow!
just appeared in front of me!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

its about my body smell!

my body...,
it smells...
it smells ...
eternal fragrance...
hahha nothing...

it smells like fish! wohooo
sometimes its smells like...the earth...
sometimes it smells like turmeric...
it smells... anyway...

salty body!
stinky cat!

i hate innocence!

i hate if somebosy is innocent!
i hate the word innocence!
its nonsense!

summer rain.....

summer its summer...
rain its raining....
summer rain...
its hot humid.. and cool...
i m loving it..its so hot... n u can just burn...
im highly inflamable... i love this burning...
by the way its just a movie 'summer rain' such a beautiful movie...

i was walking through all these junk roads in tvpm!
yea its hot i know!
no purpose!
i dont have any place to go..
i dont have anyone to meet...
so lucky im!

these people always want to make me feel sick of my life!
so here comes the summer rain again!

coffee house ice cream

after long time
i think at least after 15 years
I'm having it again...

coffee house vanilla flavored ice cream!


inside water..

u r weightless...
u r dead...

its so beautiful...

by the way i got tanned more n more...
painting myself...
so beautiful!!

badly need a smoke rite now!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Im not getting my blood!

my dates...

but where is my blood!
come come come...
waiting to see...
that thick dark blood drop.. on those white tiles!
loving that!

oh pierced nose!

i never thought ill pierce my nose!

and i never thought ill do soemthing in my life asking suggessions from
many people and taking time to decide!
what all! like a marriage!

i went to the jewellery shop! they came to see how its going to get done!
wow! thats was good.. got peirced..
tears came out!
but no pain! i was smiling, i was happy!

but i neevr wanted this..
and im happy coz i did soemthing that i dont want
i loved doign that..

like i wanted to do myself "something i dont want to do"
so i did what i want!
pierced nose!
white stone!
it costs!!

orange skirt!

after long time i know..

so i know you and you know me also..
is it right?
thats what u said !
thas what we think!
so lets separate now..
no more extensions!

its an orange skirt with green , yellow and black flowers!
flowers it seems!

time is 2.16
i didnt had my lunch!
and i was dancing!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A letter

Thank you so much for teaching me again that there is nothing like real love.
thank you so much for showing me again that everyone is selfish "everyone".
thank you so much for everything..
one more thing im not thankful to you!im thankful for myself!
n u were just part of it!
coz i decided that u can be part of it!
anyway..please dont come in my life ever again to show me again the same things! ok?
as i always said you dont deserve me at all!
so please dont make fun of my truthfulness for you n for the world!
no more sacrifices.. to make me realise that this world is bull shit.
i ve got it already from many !not from you too...
i dont need it!
if u really want a good friend or a good healthy reationship or something which is truthful n pure ..
u can come to me..otherwise ...u can change your path..dont come ever to me..
please dont do this to me..
i dont think i have done something to you...for you to do this to me..
or if there is something,why cant u tell me that...?
u need time?
u need space?
u need urself without anyone?
but u could have tell me,no?
this was too much!
hmm im deeply hurt!
coz i used to belive you!
i used to like you for as what you are!
there was some happiness and peace left in me..thats also gone..
hope we will never meet again...good bye