Monday, June 6, 2011

i guess you are not coming.. :)


there was a mail i sent you few days back when i realized...
you are not coming online anymore..
i see my chat windows empty...
where i thought ill write to you..

"
i thought this night you would come online..

:) i guess you are not coming...

hope everything went well.. and you are back on your feet :)
love for both of you...

big hug!
if you do not feel comfortable to talk to me any more, i understand...
you do not have to...

take your time... and if you ever not feel awkward,
write to me few lines about how you are...
bye fore now...

take care.."

there you replied

"
I dont know what to do , im not going to dissapear for ever , but maybe not talking that much as we did, and not in the same mood.
But just want you to know that you always going to be my friend and if you need some help ,
or just someone to hear you sometims ill be here.

And all the things we lived together are for ever in my heart, you were with me in one of the most important moments in my life,
and i wont forget that."


there was a slight pain on my upper chest while you were telling me this is over and out and you are leaving me.....
because all the reasons which made you to decide for leaving me was convincing me.. :) well .. that is life, i understand... i knew it ...
i smiled... and my eyes were struggling so hard to absorb the rolling tears coming down on my face...
and i told you " i am alright and ill be with a smile"
where you were forced to believe that i am doing good..
so that you can leave me without guilt....

i knew you so much...
and you were part of me...
you know what ...
it was only chat windows... i know..
people need touch...smell..sex...
and you dont get that real things through virtual world...
but you know what..
i was living with you in my windows...chat windows
and had sex almost all the nights we had spent together..in my chat windows..
but i never got pregnant though :D hahahaha...
i know the days and nights were different for us...
we were in a complete different time and space...
but we were together..
for the whole last summer..
:) my summer with you on my chat windows...
and now its monsoon...im all alone... :)
looking through real windows... :) and dancing alone...
hey " you still owe me one tango night " , dont you???
may be next life... as you said to me the first day we met and while we kissed... :)
may be we meet next life... :)
how selfish me!

it aches on my upper chest...
"ill be alright :)" with a smile... :)


you please be with her...
:)
te amo...
you may never know what i mean by that....
:)
take care
my little monkey...


5 comments:

BORAN said...

Don't worry Kani , as time passes by the ache that stays , will be blown away,by the wind of time, to yet another beautiful summer washing the dismay..

thomman said...

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.---albert camus
i ws a regular reader of u some two yrs bk,,, bt nw its strange...

Maitreyee said...

...

e2d said...

Hi! Happened to come across your blog. You write rather interesting stuff..honest too! :)

Online relationships still happen?! Surprised at that!:)

lost control said...

no words to tell its really touching hope you will get what ever you want